Changing Revelatory Mountain Peaks
Revelators,
Many holy kisses.
Remember Balaam? This guy is one of the most intriguing, enigmatic individuals in all of God's Word. How does a pagan sorcerer and false prophet, one who divinates for money, one who is willing to curse Israel, get used by the one true God to introduce unprecedented, pioneering revelation into the earth? Like the Messianic star prophecy and the first indication of a Middle Eastern Antichrist (Num 24:17)? Or a Roman naval incursion that afflicts the Levant (v24)?
And still, God uses Balaam in a baffling way that offends every religious box we might have in mind. Aside from seven prophecies, God uses Balaam to illustrate the nature of revelatory evolution, the nature of changing revelatory mountain peaks. Balaam received and revelated from three mounts in the land of Moab: Bamoth, Pisgah, and Peor. At each peak what he saw and what he said increased in significance, clarity, and specificity. The exact same thing happens to you and I in our revelatory relationship with the Lord.
The Setting
Israel is on the very edge of the promise land, on this side of the Jordan River, in the plains of Moab. They are encamped in a spot called Shittim (Num 25:1, 33:48,49). Overlooking Shittim are mountains and hills, three of which are Bamoth (or Bamoth Baal), Pisgah, and Peor (or Beth Peor).
Balak, king of Moab, hears about this massive people group on a military rampage. No one has been able to stop them. No doubt he fears for himself and his people. Instead of trying to stop them militarily, instead of trying to show kindness and befriend them (like the Kenites), Balak hires a sorcerer-prophet to curse them. Balak, perceptively, recognized some type of supernatural power on Israel's side, and therefore tried to defeat them in that dimension. The story is in Numbers 22-24.
Balak takes Balaam to the first mountain peak, Bamoth, and says to the sorcerer, "Now curse them from here." God, however, blocks Balaam's Satanic abilities and fills him with heavenly revelation seven times. This is where we begin the article.
Bamoth
A Bamoth Spirituality
Intro
In ancient times, a "high place" was a spot on a hill or mount devoted to idol worship (later, on artificially constructed mounds or raises also). Why a high place? Think of ancient religious high places as a two-sided coin. On one side, the demons being worshiped at these spots relished the pride and power and mimicry of sitting atop a mount, like God sits atop the heavenly mount (Heb 12:22, Isa 14:13,14, Eze 28:14,16). 2Chronicles 11:15 touches on this (NKJV, underline mine): Then he appointed for himself priests for the high places, for the demons, and the calf idols which he had made.
On the other side of the coin, the idol-worshiper gets some form of pleasure or "high" in return, which is why those worship events often included gluttony, drunkenness, and sexual activity (Num 25:1,2). For the person, it was literally a place to get high, i.e., a high place.
Bamoth, A Cluster of High Places
Balaam receives God's first revelation at a mount called Bamoth (also called Bamoth Baal or Bamoth-baal). Bamoth is mentioned in Numbers 21:19,20, 22:41, and Joshua 13:17. Numbers 22:41 is our verse of interest (ESV, underline mine): And in the morning Balak took Balaam and brought him up to Bamoth-baal, and from there he saw a fraction of the people.
The Hebrew bamoth means "high places" (plural), which is why some English translations go with "high places" instead of the formal placename "Bamoth". Regardless, the idea is the same: Bamoth was a mount with multiple high place spots, not just one. In 23:3, Balaam goes off by himself to a different high place spot on Bamoth, separating himself from Balak to seek the Lord. The picture that emerges about Bamoth, then, is that it was a mount with a cluster of high places on that one mount, kind of like multiple movie rooms in one movie theater.
What Balaam Saw: A Fraction of the People
On Bamoth, Balaam saw "a fraction" of the people of Israel (Num 22:41 ESV). The NIV says he saw "the outskirts" of the people. The Hebrew word is qase, meaning "end, edge, outskirts, outer part". Numbers 22:41 is saying Balaam saw the edge or outer part of the encamped nation from Bamoth. In 23:10 Balaam says he saw one-fourth of Israel, but not the full nation. This tiny little fact swings open extraordinary doors of revelation. We'll come back to this.
What Balaam Said: A General Statement of Israel's Uniqueness
At one of Bamoth's high place spots God put a prophecy in Balaam's mouth. The prophecy is in Numbers 23:7-10. Please read it before continuing.
Balaam's first oracle can be summarized in one phrase: Israel is unique. He prophetically declared they were irrevocably blessed (v8), separate from all other nations (v9), and numerically innumerable (v10). It is a rather simple prophetic message, it merely declares Israel is a categorically different people group on earth. There is no revelation of God, His nature, His purposes, His strategies, or new spiritual truth. There is no revelation of Israel's longterm or shortterm purposes, or any other details about the nation. Such a general revelation also tells us something extraordinary. We'll come back to this too.
Highs & Happinesses
There are all kinds of highs and happinesses, or "mountaintop experiences", in both the kingdom of Satan and the kingdom of God. Both kingdoms offer high places to humanity. If you think high places only refer to spots of idol worship, time to learn God's Word. Notice in the following passages how God, too, has high places. All underlines mine.
Moses preached in Deuteronomy 32:13,14 (ESV): He made him [Israel] ride on the high places of the land, and he ate the produce of the field, and he suckled him with honey out of the rock, and oil out of the flinty rock. Curds from the herd, and milk from the flock, with fat of lambs, rams of Bashan and goats with the very finest of the wheat--and you drank foaming wine made from the blood of the grape.
Of all the rich phrases Moses used to describe the highs and happinesses in God, what was the very first phrase he used to summarize them all? The high places of the land.
The Lord said in Isaiah 58:14 (Young's Literal Translation): Then dost thou delight thyself on Jehovah, and I have caused thee to ride on high places of earth, and have caused thee to eat the inheritance of Jacob thy father, for the mouth of Jehovah hath spoken!
Here the Lord says we can delight ourselves, ride on high places, and eat a Hebrew inheritance in Him.
David wrote the following lyrics to a worship song in Psalm 18:33 and 2Samuel 22:34 (NASB): He makes my feet like deer's feet, and sets me up on my high places...He makes my feet like deer's feet, and sets me on my high places.
Habakkuk wrote a prophetic song, and the last line was about his own high places in God. Habakkuk 3:19 (NASB): The Lord GOD is my strength, and He has made my feet like deer's feet, and has me walk on my high places. For the choir director, on my stringed instruments.
Other scriptures that use "high place" in a positive God-sense: 1Samuel 9:12-14,19, 10:5,13, 1Kings 3:2-4, 1Chronicles 16:39, 21:29, 2Chronicles 1:3,13. Notice also the various men and women who communed with God on a hill or mount: Moses (Ex 17:9,10), Deborah (Jdgs 4:5), Elijah (2Ki 1:9), Jesus (Lk 6:12), Jesus and the Three (Mt 17:1).
A Bamoth Spirituality
There are all kinds of highs and happinesses in both the kingdom of Satan and the kingdom of God. Both kingdoms offer mountaintop experiences to humanity. We say Yes only to the one true God and only to His high places.
As wonderful and exhilarating as God's high places are, there are limits to what I call "Bamoth spirituality". A Bamoth spirituality is focused on my own highs and happinesses in God. At younger, less mature levels in our spiritual life we tend to have a Bamoth spirituality. The seeker-sensitive church movement, the word of faith movement, and American Christianity in general cater to Christians at a Bamoth level.
A Bamoth Spirituality Limits Revelation of Others
Atop Bamoth, Balaam saw only "a fraction" of the people in front of him (Num 22:41 ESV), only the qase or edge, only one-fourth of Israel (23:10). A mighty revelation is hidden in that little fact: the side-effect of a spirituality focused on my own highs and happinesses is that I cannot fully see the people in front of me. At the Bamoth level, like Balaam, we see only a fraction of others. We see only their edges, their surface behaviors, their social layer, maybe even their defense mechanisms, but we do not see them fully. A Bamoth spirituality is focused on my own high places in God, and therefore, I simply do not have the mindspace or vision to fully see those in front of me.
A Bamoth spirituality limits revelation of others. God cannot trust us with information about others if we are engrossed in our own mountaintop blessings. These are not at all wrong, but how one-dimensional are we? Are we refusing to evolve, knowingly or unknowingly, beyond seeker-sensitive Christianity, beyond the word of faith wishlist, beyond self-help Christianity? Are we being like Peter (Lk 9:33) and saying, "Let's pitch a tent and just stay here at Bamoth?"
A Bamoth Spirituality Limits Revelation to Generalities
Atop Bamoth, Balaam received and gave his first revelation. What is noteworthy is how general and undetailed that first revelation was. Read Numbers 23:7-10 once again.
Balaam's first oracle can be summarized in one phrase: Israel is unique. He prophetically declared they were irrevocably blessed (v8), separate from all other nations (v9), and numerically innumerable (v10). It is a curiously general message. There is no revelation of God, His nature, His purposes, His strategies, or new spiritual truth. There is no detailing of Israel's purpose, mission, or future. It is a curiously general message.
Therein sits the second truth about a Bamoth spirituality: if I am too focused on my own highs and happinesses in God, He cannot trust me with many specifics about anything, even Himself. Like Balaam, we will get mostly general revelations from the Lord. We will be continually frustrated by knowings, senses, illuminations, pictures, and visions that are frustratingly vague, lacking powerful details that can alter situations permanently and create reality. A Bamoth spirituality limits revelation to generalities.
We cannot stay at Bamoth. We must go on and grow on to Pisgah.
Pisgah
A Pisgah Spirituality
Intro
Mount Pisgah is the mountain upon which Moses got a panoramic preview of the promise land (Deu 3:27), and the mountain on which he died (34:1). Mount Nebo is the very tiptop of Mount Pisgah (34:1).
Balaam leaves Mount Bamoth and ascends Mount Pisgah nearby, where he receives God's second revelation. Numbers 23:14 tells us (ESV): And he took him to the field of Zophim, to the top of Pisgah, and built seven altars and offered a bull and a ram on each altar. In verses 18-24 Balaam delivers his second prophecy from the Lord.
Pisgah, A Split Peak
The Hebrew pisga means "cleft, cleft peak". It is derived from the root word pasag, which means "to cut, split, divide, pass between, pass within" (literally) or "to contemplate, consider, cut up mentally" (metaphorically). Mount Pisgah, therefore, was a mountain with a noticeable split or cleavage near the top: the field of Zophim was the lower side of the split, while Mount Nebo was the upper side and true tiptop (Deu 34:1). Balak took Balaam to the lower side of the split, the field of Zophim (Num 23:14). These details are crucial. More in a bit.
What Balaam Saw: A Fraction of the People...Again
What is truly, truly incredible is this concept of seeing people only partially. Ponder deeply what Balak said to Balaam in Numbers 23:13 (ESV, underline mine): And Balak said to him, "Please come with me to another place, from which you may see them. You shall see only a fraction of them and shall not see them all. Then curse them for me from there."
The NKJV says Balaam would only see "the outer part" of them. The Hebrew is again qase, the exact same word as 22:41. Balak is saying, from Pisgah, Balaam would again see the people of Israel, but again only see their qase, their outer edge or outer part. Selah: at both Bamoth and Pisgah Balaam could only see a part, the outer part, of Israel. Read 22:41 and 23:13 side by side; it is the exact same statement, the exact same experience, on two different mountains.
Oh church, hear the word of the Lord! Beware of a new place with old scenery! Beware of new versions of old spaces! Beware of moving sideways instead of moving upward! Beware of someone who moves their feet but doesn't move their eyes! Beware of someone who pushes a new decision within an old vision!
What Balaam Said: Who God Is, Who Israel Is
Even though Balaam sees on Pisgah the exact same thing he saw on Bamoth, God manifests on his consciousness and fills him with prophetic revelation to speak. The prophecy is in Numbers 23:18-24. Please read it before continuing.
The prophecy at Bamoth was general, a simple word on the uniqueness of Israel. Here at Pisgah, however, Balaam's revelatory level increases in two distinct ways: new insight into God and new insight into the people in front of him. Balaam's revelation on Pisgah was "split" or "cleft" into who God is and who Israel is. A cleft mountain yields cleft revelation.
First, Balaam receives and reveals new details about the nature of God. He reveals God is not fickle like humans (v18). He reveals God's literal presence dwells with Israel in a kingly or kingship manifestation (v21). He reveals God is the one directly responsible for getting Israel out of Egypt (v22). He reveals God is strong and aggressive like the horns of a wild ox (v22).
Second, Balaam receives and reveals new details about Israel. He reveals Israel is blameless in God's eyes (v21, see NKJV or YLT). He reveals, twice, that Israel cannot be cursed or divinated against (v20,23). He reveals people will give glory to God because of Israel (v23). And, especially important, he reveals Israel is not done conquering militarily (v24), indicating the imminent conquest and dispossession of the promise land.
A Pisgah Spirituality Yields Cleft Revelation
Remember, pisga means "cleft, split, cleft peak, split peak". Mount Pisgah was a mountain with a noticeable split near the top, earning it the name. Those who seek the Lord in a Pisgah realm, with a determined mind to understand God more and understand people more, will receive just that in return. They will receive a cleft or dual revelatory experience: new insight into God and new insight into the people in front of them. A Pisgah spirituality is focused on learning more about God and others--not just God, not just others, but both God and others.
The Field of Zophim
Remember, again, Mount Pisgah was a mountain with a noticeable cleavage near the top, earning it the name (pisga = "cleft, split, cleft peak, split peak"). The field of Zophim was the lower side of the split, Mount Nebo was the upper side and true tiptop (Deu 34:1). Balak took Balaam to the lower side of the split, the field of Zophim, Numbers 23:14 says (ESV, underline mine): And he took him to the field of Zophim, to the top of Pisgah, and built seven altars and offered a bull and a ram on each altar.
What is this so-called field of Zophim? A field on a mountaintop?
First, the field. The Hebrew is sade, it can mean an intentionally cultivated field (Gen 37:7, 47:24, Ex 22:5, Lev 26:4, Num 20:17, Deu 32:13, Ru 2:2, Jer 4:17, Lam 4:9, Hos 10:4) or a wild, nondescript field often home to wild animals (Job 5:23, Ps 50:11, 104:11, Isa 56:9). We know the field of Zophim was an intentionally cultivated field because of the meaning of Zophim.
Second, Zophim. The Hebrew sopim means "watchers, observers" (from the root word sapa, "to look, observe, keep watch, spy"). Pisgah was Moabite territory, and therefore, Zophim was a lookout spot for the Moabites. From Zophim an approaching army, merchants, travelers, etc. could be seen from a distance and information sent back to Moab's leaders. It would make perfect common sense, then, for the lookouts to cultivate a field up there where they could eat from, or find shade in the hot summer months, during their lookout shifts.
The Field of Zophim: Feeding on God, then Observing People
Church, perceive the parables of the Spirit! Like Pisgah's two-dimensional peak, the field of Zophim was also two-dimensional: a field for feeding and a spot for observing. The cultivated field with food and shade illustrates God Himself. If we feed on Him everyday we gain more and more revelation into Him. That increased insight into Him then positions us on Zophim's lookout spot to observe others with higher eyes, gaining us more and more revelation into them too. The field of Zophim = feeding on God, then observing people.
Mount Pisgah & The Field of Zophim
Pisgah's two-dimensional peak offers us a two-dimensional revelation: into God and into the people in front of us. Practically, this happens through the two-dimensional field of Zophim: a field of feeding on God Himself, and as a result, an elevated lookout for observing others with higher eyes.
As important as Pisgah and the field of Zophim are, there is still a revelatory element that is missing: Me, Myself, and I. We cannot stay at Bamoth. We cannot stay at Pisgah. We must go on and grow on to Beth Peor.
Peor
A Peor Spirituality
Intro
Like Bamoth and Pisgah, Peor (or Beth Peor) is a mount in the land of Moab. The Israelites were encamped in the valley facing Peor (Deu 3:29, 4:46). Moses was buried by the Lord in that same valley (34:6). Some time after Balaam's prophesyings, the Israelites engaged in Baal-worshiping activities atop Peor (Num 25), infuriating God and leading to a mass casualty plague. That incident continued to be dyslogized throughout the Old Testament (Num 31:16, Deu 4:3, Jsh 22:17, Ps 106:28-31, Hos 9:10). When referring to the incident, Peor was called Baal of Peor or Baal-Peor.
Balaam leaves Mount Pisgah and ascends Mount Peor nearby, where he receives God's third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh revelation. Numbers 23:27,28 tell us (HCSB, underline mine): Again Balak said to Balaam, "Please come. I will take you to another place. Maybe it will be agreeable to God that you can put a curse on them for me there." So Balak took Balaam to the top of Peor, which overlooks the wasteland.
In 24:3-24, from the top of Peor, Balaam delivers five final prophecies from the Lord.
Peor, An Opening
The Hebrew peor means "opening, gap" (literally) or "hiatus" (metaphorically). There are no historical records, in Scripture or outside Scripture, telling us why this particular mount was named "opening". Like Bamoth and Pisgah, it is possible Peor had a visible feature that was an opening, like a cave or a large hole. Some Bible studiers have suggested "opening" was sexual in nature, meant to convey the religiosexual activities that occurred on the mount in the worship of Baal. It was those very activities on Peor the Israelite men fell into, infuriating God and leading to a mass casualty judgment (Num 25).
Regardless of the true historical reason the mount was named Peor/Opening/Gap/Hiatus, God has no problem hijacking a name and a place and reengineering them for His purposes. For the humble seeker of the one true God, Peor has its own special, higher meaning. We'll come back to this.
At Peor, Balaam Stops Divinating
Numbers 24:1 is absolutely fascinating, but also somewhat unclear: atop Peor Balaam finally gave in to how God wanted to work, and therefore, he stopped divinating. The NKJV words it: Now when Balaam saw that it pleased the LORD to bless Israel, he did not go as at other times, to seek to use sorcery, but he set his face toward the wilderness.
Did Balaam use occult techniques (peculiar rituals, omen-reading, incantations, etc.) alongside his previous seeking of Yahweh (in 23:3,15), because he did not know Yahweh at all or how to approach Him, so he did the only thing he knew to do--divinate while praying to Yahweh? (Think of how some novice Christians mix foreign ideas and techniques into their Christianity because that is all they know.) Or did Balaam use occult techniques maliciously, hoping to "convince" Yahweh to curse Israel? Regardless of Balaam's inner workings, 24:1 says he gave in to the Lord's will and way and stopped divinating before prophesying.
At Peor, We Stop Our Little Tricks
Hear the word of the Lord church! When we finally grow into a Peor realm, we accept God's will and way is the only way, and we stop using little religious tricks to manipulate Him. Even Biblical activities can be used in a sorcery-type way to try to manipulate God--perfect church attendance, sowing that seed, decreeing and declaring, flattering Him disingenuously in prayer, legalistic prudishness, and all the Christian things we do in a divinating way to try to manipulate God. Meditate in Numbers 24:1 for five minutes. At Peor, Balaam accepted God's will and way and stopped his little occult tricks. At Peor, we do too.
What Balaam Saw: Wilderness, The Entire People, & Identity
Peor "overlooks the wasteland" (Num 23:28 NKJV) or wilderness. Atop Peor, Balaam "set his face toward the wilderness" (24:1), meaning, he intentionally stared at it. When he did he saw all of Israel--no longer just a fraction or the outer part--but all of them. Also, he did not see a nondescript, monolithic mob, he saw Israel "encamped according to their tribes" (v2). Balaam saw a vast wasteland or wilderness, the entire nation, and tribal identities.
A Peor Spirituality Sees Wilderness, The Entirety of People, & Identity
At a Peor level, we, like Balaam, are able to see the wasteland or wilderness in front of us--the world. In spite of all the technologies, comforts, pleasures, riches, and external beauty available, humanity is still a spiritual and psychological wasteland. The inner world of humanity is a wilderness. Most of humanity does not have a lifechanging relationship with God. Humanity is perpetually plagued by numerous crises: mental health, substance abuse, hedonism, materialism, chronic poverty, violence, war, endless political conflict, and on and on. These are merely symptoms of a world, of a humanity, that is a spiritual and psychological wasteland because of sin. We cannot see people accurately and entirely apart from the larger context of the human wilderness. Every person, including you and I, starts life from this same internal wilderness. Romans 3:9-18 summarizes that ubiquitous starting line.
Atop Peor, instead of seeing only a fraction or the outer part of Israel, Balaam could see the entirety of Israel. Once we profoundly understand and appreciate that humanity is a spiritual and psychological wilderness, we can start seeing people accurately and entirely. This is because we are no longer overly impressed or charmed or distracted by the attractive layers they put forward. We are able to fall back on the knowledge that, without a proactive daily experience with God and without proactive emotional-mental healing and development, their attractive layers merely hide the wasteland inside. This is why people, Christians included, get so shocked when a seemingly nice and functional and successful person is caught doing something significantly criminal or immoral or unethical. If we grew up into a Peor spirituality, not only would we not be shocked, we would be more proactive in trying to help others face the wilderness within, starting with ourselves.
Atop Peor, Balaam intentionally stared at the wilderness, saw the entirety of Israel, and saw Israel neatly encamped tribe by tribe (Num 24:2). On the surface Balaam saw tribes, but deep down he saw identity. He saw unique and different identities across the spectrum of Israel. For us, a Peor spirituality can see unique and different identities across the spectrum of the church. It does not see the church as a one-trick-pony community, but as an assorted community with all kinds of identities for different purposes. While many Christians talk like and act like they understand this, their Pharisee aura towards other parts of the church betray their true level. They have not grown to Peor yet. They cannot see the wasteland that is humanity, they cannot see the entirety of God's people, and therefore, they cannot see different identities camped side by side.
What Balaam Said: "I See, I Fall Down"
Atop Peor, after he sees what he sees, Balaam speaks five final prophecies from God. This is the first time Balaam reveals something about himself in the prophecy. In verses 3,4, he opens his third prophecy with the following (NKJV, underline mine): ...The utterance of Balaam the son of Beor, the utterance of the man whose eyes are opened, the utterance of him who hears the words of God, who sees the vision of the Almighty, who falls down, with eyes wide open.
In verses 15,16 he opens his fourth prophecy with the exact same words.
Remember, Peor most literally means "opening". Here at Peor Balaam's eyes are opened in a way they have never been before. In the verses above, he says his eyes are open and seeing a whopping three times. But that is not all. The opening of his eyes makes him fall down in the presence of the Lord.
How true this is! If we keep growing spiritually and evolving to greater revelatory mountain peaks, our eyes will eventually open so wide, see so clearly, see the most sobering of visions, that we fall down in the presence of the Lord with broken humility and a healthy fear of Him.
What Balaam Said: Many Specifics on Many Subjects
At Bamoth, where Balaam delivered his first prophecy, his words were noticeably general. At Pisgah, where Balaam delivered his second prophecy, his words increased in detail about God and about the people in front of him, Israel. At Peor, Balaam receives and reveals five more prophecies, all rich with detail across a variety of subjects. Read the five prophecies in Numbers 24:3-24. Pay special attention to the many specifics on many subjects.
A Peor Spirituality Yields Revelatory Specificity & Variety
Atop Peor, Balaam finally gave in to how God wanted to work, and therefore, he stopped divinating alongside his seeking of Yahweh (24:1). When we finally grow up to a Peor spirituality we accept deep down that God's will and way is the only way. As a result, we give up on little religious tricks to manipulate Him. Because of that profound acceptance of however God wants to work, our eyes burst open three-fold like they never have before, and we start experiencing revelatory specificity and variety. Because we are no longer so self-focused on our own highs at Bamoth, and because we have attained greater insight about God and other people at Pisgah, God can trust us with many specifics on many subjects at Peor.
Application Recap
Bamoth > Pisgah > Peor
Bamoth means "high places", plural. A Bamoth spirituality is focused on my own high and happy places in God. Because of that, God cannot trust me with many details about much of anything. Those on Bamoth need to enjoy their high places in God with more balance and perspective. They need to go on to Pisgah and learn more about God and about the people in front of them.
Pisgah means "cleft, split, cleft peak, split peak". A Pisgah spirituality yields dual or "cleft" revelation about God and others--not just God, not just others, but both God and others. Pisgah's two-dimensional revelation happens through the two-dimensional field of Zophim: a field of feeding on God Himself, and as a result, an elevated lookout for observing others with higher eyes. Great revelatory growth happens at Pisgah, but there is yet more at Peor.
Peor most literally means "opening". A Peor spirituality yields revelatory specificity and variety. This is because we have accepted deep down God's will and way is the only way, and therefore, we have stopped using little religious tricks to manipulate Him. Because of that profound acceptance of however God wants to work, our eyes burst open three-fold like they never have before.
Are you at Bamoth? It is not wrong, it is simply elementary and self-focused, as all beginner levels in Christ are. Grow on to Pisgah. Are you at Pisgah? Great growth happens here, but it is focused on God and the people in front of you, not so much you. Grow on to Peor. Are you at Peor? You have finally, truly, permanently, deep down accepted however God wants to work in you and through you. And because of that, you have thrown out your bag of religious tricks, your eyes are opening three-fold, and you will be used by Him to receive and reveal many specifics about many subjects.