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The Premarital Script
Becomes The Marital Script


This Sunday at church, the Holy Spirit christened my attention to notice marital scripts. A script is an expected or compulsory course of behavior; it could also be called a storyline or blueprint or role-playing. Consciously and subconsciously, people obey their internal scripts and play out the roles looping continuously in their souls. Their relationships and life outcomes are the visible fruit of the scripts pushing them from inside. Through enlightened self-awareness from God, these scripts can be pinpointed and sanctified.
    And so, as I am trying to enjoy potato salad, oikos, and ekklesia, the Spirit keeps cooing in my ear about marital scripts. With zero effort on my part, like flashes of light within, I notice the following: docile male, aggressive female...aggressive male, docile female...strong male, strong female...playful male, playful female...out-front female, jealous male...shy female, shy male...back to potato salad and boring church conversations. The next day the Spirit brought the insights full circle, illuminating this phrase to me: the premarital script becomes the marital script.

The Premarital Script Becomes the Marital Script

Christian singles and premarriage couples: premarital scripts/blueprints/inner storylines/ingrained patterns will carry over into marriage if they are not pinpointed and uprooted beforehand. A piece of paper will not change the infrastructure of a relationship. Enlightened self-awareness and sanctification in God can.
    God designed marriage to be an idyll first, a conquering and ruling force second. See Genesis 1 and 2. Many marriages are more like purgatory first and a colon cleanse second, because of premarital scripts still running the marriage years later. (Purgatory is not in Scripture; I'm using the term sarcastically.)

Singles & Premarriage Couples

Beloved, eight weeks of premarital counseling that helps you decide who will take out the trash and how to say "I feel" instead of "you did" is horrifyingly inadequate. You have deep storylines playing inside you stuck on Repeat. Those storylines are filled with half-truths, illusions, survivalism, self-centeredness, personality extremes, fears, parental models, even social pressure. Want to be ready for marriage? Want God's idyll in your romance? Want to be a conquering and ruling force? Split yourself open in His presence and with stronger Christians, for as long as it takes, and wage a good warfare against your internal scripts.

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